So cold.

i write down my emotions to let them out the bottle that i keep hidden
frm the people who i dont want to see them
and the people that i want to know, but dont kno how to form the words
using my mouth
thats why i take it to the pen
and a peace of paper
then rip it to shreds
cuz ion want those same people to know i bleed
they look at me with this happy arua around me
thinking that i forever smile....
but..
its hard to frown
when you kno that nobody wanna look at that
so i put on the happy hat
give smiles to the crowd
while.
im dieing inside
im so cold
froze.
waiting for sumbdy to melt me
give me that same feeling that i once had
but.
im numb
to to the touch, to the love,
but only cause.
scared of what could happen
if i let you in, would you stay?
would you leave?
would you laugh at me?
cry with me?
or just look at me differently?
this is why i do what i do
smoke my problems away
and drink them too.
an i kno i shldnt
keep saying i wouldnt
but. too late iv already fallen
and im waiting to hit the ground
and shatter my life
like glass. even though i live so cold....ice